Tomorrow at 5:00 p.m. it's official. After 10 years as Project Manager for Stroud Custom Homes, I will be laid off. It's not like I didn't see it coming. The end of 2007 showed the first signs that the housing market was going to tank in our area. I began to prepare. David began to prepare. We were not about to lose everything we have worked so hard for in our 20 years together. In 2008, in addition to working 60 hours a week in construction, I worked 4 other jobs. Last year, after being cut back to 20 hours, I worked 3 jobs. We saved, we simplified, we prepared. Yet, it still feels strange to me. I recently had a good 3 weeks of identity crisis, meltdown, and poor poor pitiful me moments. Who am I? What am I doing??? What will I do????? I find it funny how we associate ourselves with things like titles, stuff, and money instead of ourselves... our core beings.
won first place. I'm proud that in 2008, the house I designed, won Best In Show out of 58 houses in the parade. I'm proud of the friends I made and for the fact that I've been a good, hardworking employee for 10 years, giving my job 100%. Can you believe in 10 years, I have never called in sick!!! Of course I did have a wretched migraine once and my boss had to drive me home. I threw up in a trash bag in the back of his truck. He will never let me live that one down!
What I won't miss...day's that started at 6 a.m. and ended at 9 p.m. Getting paid for 40 hours and working 80. Not getting the credit for the things I did and was responsible for. Never getting to take a real vacation. I never took more than 2 days off at once. I won't miss bookkeeping, taxes and insurance audits. I won't miss washing the dishes and cleaning the office toilets. I won't miss being responsible for the thousands of components and people that go into building a custom home. I won't miss the stress of construction that people think is easy, when in fact, it is crazy and crapola happens daily.
What I have learned. I love working with people, but I really, really, don't like being responsible for their work performance. I prefer to be responsible for me, myself and I as I always do what I say and live up to my word. I love using the right side of my brain way more than the left. Decorating yes, taxes, no! That loving what you do every day is so much more important than being an accumulator of things that you won't have time to enjoy because you work to much and you're just trying to fill a void because you don't have time to live.
hee,hee,hee. My most favorite quote is this, "It is never to late to become what you might have been" - George Eliot. Now it's just trying to figure out what is next. Any ideas????
I will come home, open this bottle of wine and give myself a toast. A toast to the next chapter in my life and whatever that may bring. I think I will just focus on "living happily ever after" and making "plenty" of money. That sounds like a good job description.
The time is mine, blissfully I will go.